A week ago, I popped two tootsie rolls in my mouth, one after another, from a plastic pumpkin bucket at the local bookstore. I didn’t feel the pebble until number two. Tomorrow, my dentist will replace the crown.

Two nights ago, we watched Marathon Man, with Dustin Hoffman and Lawrence Olivier, who played a Nazi dentist who tortures Hoffman.

Last night, I clinked goblets with a couple who let slip they were in Mensa.Since it was my second glass of Merlot, a few minutes later, behind closed doors, my phone reminded me you needed a very high IQ to be in that group.

Later in the evening, I approached them and described my fear that once I sit down in the dentist’s chair, all I will think about is Olivier’s evil grin.

“Try not to think about a pink elephant,” both said, skipping no beat.

Precisely, thought I.

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