There’s a backstory to this tale. It’s in response to two prompts from a Medium publication called The Challenged. One prompt is about the love-hate relationship many of us have with daylight saving time. That prompt is included in the editors’ No No November prompts.
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Love, hate, no, yes. Ye gods!
‘Get a grip, Paul,’ my mom used to say.
Then, it was teenage angst. Now, it’s, well, at least related to what my new friend AI calls “measurable changes in physical and functional health.”
It’s not easy, I reply to Mom’s spirit. You remember being 76, don’t you?
Besides, it’s 3 am.
But my body thinks it’s 4.
What am I doing up so early, you ask?
You always got up for 5:30 Mass — well, writing stories is my ritual.
Even when they come from a nudge by someone else.
Mom, you always encouraged me to listen to others, to find mentors. One of mine is Marion Roach Smith, who has written a terrific book on writing titled The Memoir Project. I love her insights, except for one. She’s skeptical about what she calls ‘artificial writing prompts.’
Of course, they can be artificial, like hitting a tennis ball against a wall. It’s not the same as practising against a person. However, I make the prompts my own, squeezing them into a frame that stems from my experience. It becomes my story, one that can be told only by me.
Yes, I know, I was always skeptical of advice. Let me give you another example: this morning, it took me too long to change the clock on the Bose radio. I finally had to get out the directions that I had forgotten from last March, when we sprang forward, and thought, this is a senior moment.
You’re right, I used that phrase with you, too often, especially as you aged into your nineties. One of my favorite writers,
, suggests it can be a cliché.
Your Senior Moments Aren’t What You Think They Are
Maybe it’s time to retire the phrase entirely
Gary’s onto something and, importantly, is vigilant against ageism. His story of aging is nuanced and well worth your time.
However
2.
I just watched a YouTube video of another Gary, and a hero of mine, Gary Player, a ninety-year-old nine-time golf Major Championship winner. When I was growing up and learning the game, it was the big three: Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Player. In the film clip, he swung a golf club like an aged man, an exceptionally well-conditioned aged man. (source)
Both observations are true.
Two days ago, I dropped into my hands-free step-in shoes and walked a half mile to the local bookstore. That jaunt tipped me over my daily goal of 10,000 steps. As I waited for the proprietor to hand me the mobile credit card reader for my phone, I popped the tootsie roll I had taken from the bowl on the counter into my mouth and began to chew.
On the third grind, I encountered what felt like a pebble. I was about to say something about the hard thing in your candy offering when I thought, no, it’s probably an aging crown or molar my dentist warned me about last visit.
Sure enough, it was.
It’s either a 74-year-old partial tooth or a 30-year-old crown. I’ll find out tomorrow. Regardless, it’s another deteriorating body part.
3.
Last January, early morning, I blacked out while peeing in our San Miguel, Mexico apartment. Here’s the story if you’re interested. (Source) My Mexican doctor said it was heart-related, as in, “you know, Paul, you’re heart is also 75 years old.” A few weeks later, back in the USA, after an MRI, my regular physician said it was also brain-related, as in “you know, Paul, your brain is also 75 years old.”
Everything is shrinking on me except my stomach and prostate. The latter, I can do little about. For the former, it’s a matter of gravity more than weight. 10,000 daily steps controls the pounds. This stretchy mesh belt helps manage the contour of my changing torso.
When I momentarily struggled this morning to turn back the kitchen clock, I knew exactly where we keep the Bose instruction manual. It’s right on top of the Subaru Forester owner’s handbook, with the change clock page dog-eared.
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