The PG-13 version
*
Sometimes, airport security personnel allow their sense of humor to peek through.
This was one of those times.
*
Roz Warren, Writing Coach, says the title “should tell the reader what the story will be about.”*
Check.
Make the title funny, she adds.
Well, I’m 74.
Check.
She suggests readers like dog or cat photos.
Wikipedia’s Dog with a Stick search produced many options.
I liked the first photo.
I’m a serious writer and don’t need no dog or cat photo tricks.
Besides, I don’t like cats, except for Wilbur and Orville, who are in the family — or cat stories, except for Cat in the Hat.
A red check.
Roz also urges us to “get to the point.”
And “put the reader in the scene.”
OK.
I’ll start with my tiny butt.
To compensate, I wear low-rise, close-fitting, stretch pants that conform to the contour of my body.
Have I put you in the scene?
*
Rebecca and I reluctantly began our journey back to cold Iowa from warm San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, two days ago. For the first time, we had become snowbirds, spending January away.
The only thing we had to check through customs were two colds I wrote about here.
After checking our bags and getting our boarding passes at the Guanajuato International Airport in Léon, we proceeded to Security.
Moving through airport screening has been smooth since we got Global Entry passes five years ago, making us eligible for TSA PreCheck.
So smooth it is easy to get sloppy.
I put my coat, backpack, phone, and hat in the tray and lined up to go through the X-ray scanner.
The female Security Officer motioned me through, and we heard the beep.
My belt, I thought.
She said, while my hands were in the air,
Sir, I need to see what’s making your right pants pocket bulge.
With my right hand, I felt this package in my pocket.
*
I went back through the scanner, put the cough drop box in a little tray, and it disappeared through the straps.
And came out, harmlessly, the other side.
No threat.
As I went back through the x-ray, I could swear the agent gave me a wink.
It made my day.
And, Roz, finally, that’s the point of my story.
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*I have worked on stories twice with Roz. But not this one. Please don’t blame her. She is a terrific editor. Below is one of her stories that includes a link to a beneficial tutorial.
How to Become a Better Writer in an Hour or Less
It’s Quick! It’s Easy! It’s Affordable!
**And, of course, there’s this line attributed to Mae West: “Why detective, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.” I first heard a version of this joke from a college friend, Tom, who said that a girlfriend once said it to him as he approached her. Bad form, I know. He was politically incorrect before the term was created.
